For most people, an engagement ring is a once in a lifetime purchase, so they have no experience of what it involves or what they need to think about and be aware of. There are many areas where they know they need more information
(the known unknowns), but the most dangerous territory is the ‘unknown unknowns’, i.e. those things that you don’t even know you need to know about.
In this chapter I will highlight some of the most common misconceptions and mistakes I’ve seen people make which I hope to correct and dispel in the rest of the book.
Read on - or Download Chapter 4 as a pdf to read at your leisure.
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SUMMARY
• Many myths about engagement rings are peddled as facts. Most are created by ad men, but the ‘unknown unknowns’ are the most dangerous
• Diamonds are neither rare nor precious. They command high prices because supply is artificially restricted
• Think ahead to the shape of the wedding band. Don’t buy on looks and don’t assume vintage rings have been repaired
• Beware of ‘buying the box’, i.e. getting poor value from a big brand
• If it seems too good (cheap) to be true, it probably is. There is a lot of room for opinion when valuing and grading
• Don’t leave it all to the last minute, you’ll buy under duress
• An engagement ring is not a financial investment
• Doing-it-yourself can lead to poor choices and end up costing you more.
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THE PROBLEM WITH VINTAGE
Beautiful as they can be, vintage rings by definition have been around, and probably worn, for quite a long time. Ring settings and claws show wear and damage, shanks wear thin at the back, diamonds and gemstones get scuffed on the facets or chipped at the edges. Old stones will not be certified, so you have no guarantee about what you are buying, and the ring may not originally have been designed to be worn with a wedding band.
These are all things which it is easy to overlook, or just not see if you do not know what to look for.
You are buying a ring to last and be worn for a lifetime. A vintage ring may already have been worn for a lifetime. Over the years I have had to recreate completely a number of vintage rings which had not been refurbished by the retailer and were sold to unsuspecting clients who did not know what they were buying. I’ve replaced stones and shanks, created replica settings and, in some cases, complete replica rings because the whole thing was too delicate and damaged to wear. In these cases the rings ended up costing a lot more than if they had simply been made from new.
This does not mean that you should avoid all vintage rings, but you really do need to know what you are buying, what it is really worth and how much refurbishment it will need.
LEAVING IT TO THE LAST MINUTE
If you are reading this, you probably won’t be someone who leaves everything to the last minute, but it’s easy to spend ages thinking about the ring, preparing for it and not actually getting round to doing anything about it until the last minute.
It’s a crass generalisation, but men have a reputation with we women for leaving things like this to the last minute.
You may have been planning the proposal for months – the holiday, the dinner, how you’ll surprise her – but you haven’t quite got around to the ring. Never mind – there are lots out there, right?
Well there are, but you’ll be surprised how much they all look alike, and you can’t find the right thing, and time is slipping away. As the most important piece of jewellery you will ever buy her, you will not want to rush it. Take your time, plan ahead, but also do something about it, and allow at least a month if you are having a ring made for you.